MY BIGGEST TURN ON & OPENING UP| Chit Chats with Alysia
- Alysia H.
- Oct 6, 2017
- 6 min read
I thought I'd post a second blog for the week - shocking? I know, since I haven't been posting as much lately! But, I am feeling very ramble-y today! So, I thought I'd kind of do a life update, weekly thoughts/advice, and update type blog haha maybe even share my biggest turn on ;)
Let's begin!
As you know I went through some life changes a couple months back and at first it was definitely a change and a disappointment. However, I truly believe everything happens for a reason or to take you to the place you are intended to go! So, I came to terms with everything and realized it was probably for the best! However, since all these life changes I've learned quite a lot about myself and I have also started feeling more like ME! This is great! I guess I never noticed I was slowly changing and maybe not even in the best way! So, it feels great to start getting back to who I truly am and learn more about myself. It is also something people have been noticing! I've had people who are close to me and not so close to me - say things like "Alysia you seem so happy" , " You seem more yourself", "You seem to be loving life", etc. I've also noticed I've been feeling a lot less tense and stressed out compared to the past. Although - I'm usually a very stressed out person - there has def been a decrease! I've even been able to grow my relationship with Mialyna and spend more time with her. Especially, during the week we have our nightly routine and I think she has even noticed that mommy is a bit less stressed out than she was before. This is actually amazing and I'm so happy that I've been changing in a positive way.
Throughout this time I have also learned more about myself, what I need out of life, and what I need from an intimate relationship. I have really come to grips to see what I bring to the table and offer in a relationship - and I'm completely done being too critical of myself. I have realized that I have a lot to offer and the person/people who are in my life will see this and NEVER take it for granted. Also, I have set new limits that if someone does try to take advantage of me (my niceness or ability to forgive) that they really don't belong in my life or deserve me to be in theirs. I think this is something a lot of people struggle with and we can tend to be a push over for those we love. However, we need to realize that if someone loves you or cares deeply about you they WILL NEVER hurt you or do anything to jeopardize your feelings, your relationship or your heart. So, I think we all need to set our own limits, value ourselves, and hold the people in our lives accountable for their actions. Why waste your time on someone who isn't considering your feelings?
This also connects with something else I have realized - trust and honesty are so sexy. Yes, you read that right. The ability to have trust and honesty in a relationship is so sexy and something that feels so good. After being through many relationships (friends and intimate) where my trust was broken, it seemed that I adjusted to the feeling of being worried all the time. Is that person being faithful? Is that person telling the truth? Are they going to hurt me again? Why aren't they talking as much?
It was actually super unhealthy and wrong. I realized you should never feel that- you don't deserve that and in any relationship you have you should never have to worry about these things. If you are - trust me when I say you need to let that relationship go! Someone who cares about you deeply will never want to break your trust. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO FEEL THIS WAY! Trust me, I always thought it was something normal ... until now. I became use to the feeling- and no one should or have to do that. There are people out there who deserve to be in your life and who would never do anything to break your trust. I know those who hurt us or lie - always seem to have the best excuses. They did it to protect you? They did it because it was just a tiny lie? It was meaningless? It wasn't a big deal? They didn't want to lose you ... I've heard it all! Bottom line - they are excuses and you should never feel like it's okay for someone to break your trust or that it is your fault that they did so. Everyone has a choice to take the right path or the wrong... don't reward someone with YOU after they made the wrong choices no matter the reason behind it.
Now, that I know what it's like to have complete trust in someone and the people in your life - I would never continue a relationship where trust is compromised. Not having to worry if you don't hear from them within an hour or when you ask them a question you know they are being 100% real with you or that even telling you a tiny white lie they feel so guilty for it. It honestly feels so great- I can't express this enough. It is so true that trust is so crucial in ALL relationships. After having your trust broken numerous times- it won't be easy to get there with other people. However, you need to let people have the opportunity because not everyone is the same (writing this as a reminder to myself as well). If you are in a relationship where trust was broken and you think what you are experiencing now is good- you have no idea the potential of how good it feels to have trust and honesty in a relationship. It feels so amazing to fall asleep without worrying if the person is doing something shady, waking up and not having to worry is today going to be the day I find out bad news, or being able to lay in the arms or spend time with the ones you care about and feel 100% safe emotionally. If you can't tell - trust and honesty feels amazing and is def one of my biggest turn ons and needs in a relationship (right above biting & neck kisses haha... just kidding.. maybe). IT instantly makes a person so attractive and desirable. It also heightens everything else within a relationship, allows you to grow, and feel comfortable. I feel as someone with anxiety this has definitely helped a lot. We all deserve to feel safe and not have to be worried for the other shoe to drop in the relationships we invest our time in.
Bottom line - you need to know that you do not ever have to settle in any aspect of your life and you deserve the best. So, let this be your reminder!
You deserve someone who has the same mindset as you. If you are down to earth - you deserve someone who is down-to-earth. You value family - your person should as well. You are an honest and respectful person - well heck, your partner should be too!
Personally, I feel like I'm in a great spot and I'm really enjoying every bit of life right now! The chaos of life, the people in my life, nature, my work, everything... and honestly I believe it's just going to get better. I've never been a girl who needs to do extravagant things or go out all the time to enjoy life- don't get me wrong I love going to new places, exploring and trying new things. However, I love staying in on weekends, going for walks, cooking dinner at home, enjoying a good coffee or glass of wine or finding new cute places. You will rarely find me scouting the best party scene or going to bars on the weekdays.. heck, rarely on the weekends. So, I am so lucky to have found people who love doing those things with me and are completely satisfied with doing so. Plus, we like creating new experiences together. When I can have a good time doing the simple things with someone it means so much more to me. Call me a grandma or old... but it just holds more value to me.
Overall, I am so happy that I have been able to spend time with people I care about, made new memories, and came to some great realizations. I am forever grateful for it all, and I hope that anyone who is reading this sees their true worth and what they deserve. Don't ever let fear hold you back from what you really deserve. I know it's hard but one day it will be worth it.
I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving weekend ( my Canadian readers) and be sure to express how thankful you are!
Until Next Time,
Alysia xo
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