Hi My name is Alysia and I am __________

Today on the blog I wanted to get a little more personal and share some stuff about me that I'm sure many people can relate to.

My name is Alysia and I am perfectly imperfect.

My hair doesn't fly perfectly when it's windy, I trip a lot, I'm a messy eater, I stress out over little things, I look like a zombie 50% of time, sometimes I don't make our beds and I dance like a weirdo when people are looking. Not to mention, I have some bad days, sometimes I'm cranky, and sometimes I cry.

and guess what? That is okay!

This is something that I have realized lately - it's okay not to be perfect and for everything not to be in order all the time! Don't get me wrong I do like to be organized, put together, and get shit done. But, I also now embrace the chaos - most times (let's be real).

Since I was 17 (after I had Mialyna) I aimed to be perfect. Get straight A's ( did that), go to university (did that) , land a job in 3 months of graduating (did that), be a kick ass mom ( doing that), and buy a home for me and my baby girl ( did that), and get my #goal puppy for Mia and I (got him!). But, then it wasn't just excelling and hitting goals - I began to obsess about everything. I tried to make everything perfect, I was tough on myself, I had many anxiety attacks, and I became very self critical. It was like I was trying to be the image that I built up in my head - something totally unattainable and unrealistic. I made 5 year plans and wanted everything to fall into place.

After some life changes and opening my eyes, I realized you can plan for anything but things change in a blink of an eye. I had to let the go a bit and see where life would take me, but most importantly I needed to CHILL out and start enjoying the present and stop worrying about the future.

Although I've always loved being my crazy weird self and embracing my uniqueness- I was still aiming to be perfect in many ways. Although this "can do" spirit is great to have - it has had it's downfalls. I agree that we should all strive to be better- but we do need to cut ourselves a break now and again.

I also realized that every time I hit my goal that I am still very critical and didn't recognize my efforts - "I could do better, it probably was just a coincidence not my hard work, or I guess I did alright."

Then I stopped and asked myself - Why am I like this? I realized I became this way not due to the pressures that were put on me by others, but the pressure I have put on myself to prove to everyone that I can do it. Not only that - it was the fact that I have been let down by people's actions many times throughout my life that I am now obsessed with having control. It seems to be my way of protecting myself and not letting others let me down. However, I realized that no matter how much you plan, how much you try to be perfect - life has a weird way of taking control and leading you down the path you are intended to go.

I have realized not everyday is going to run smoothly -that's okay and expected. I am a single mom with a daughter, I have a needy puppy running around, I have a home to take care of, I have a full time job, and help run a business while trying to balance my daughter and I's social life - things are expected to not always be smooth sailing. I am also only 25 years old and I don't need to have my entire life figured out right now and I need to recognize that I am doing a pretty damn good job. I am a great mother, I am a good at what I do, I'm there for my family and friends, and I have a lot to be grateful for. I need to cut myself a break now and again - I am a real person and real people aren't born to be perfect.

So, for any of you out there that are struggling with being a control freak or perfectionist- cut yourself a break. I hope seeing that you aren't the only one out there with these problems makes you feel a little better. However, I will tell you that ever since I have let go a little bit I feel a lot better - I can enjoy the day, I can laugh the struggles off, and I'm generally happier. It takes time and I'm still a tad crazy (I'm sure I can get a handful of people to vouch for this!) - but it's all about baby steps!

Trust me when I say that no one else cares or will even notice if something doesn't go perfect except you.

Recognize your hard work and set realistic expectation and remember it's okay to relax. Start enjoying the beauty in each chaotic day and live in the present. You don't need your five year plan written to a tee- because believe me when I say your life can change tomorrow.

BE YOU. BE IMPERFECT. BE DIFFERENT.

Until next time,

Alysia xo

#lifestyle #perfectionist #aboutme #blogger #momblogger #controlfreak #badhabits #highstandarfs #goals