An open letter to a man who took me for granted...|

Today's post is going to be a personal one....

Dear____________________,

I thought you were my future, my happily ever after, my home…. Correction: our future, our happily ever after, and our home (my daughter and I). You were amazing when you wanted to be – you were there for us, showed us love and affection, protected us and sacrificed for us at times. I let you into my home, my heart, broke down all my walls for you… and most importantly I let you be a significant part of my daughter’s life. I let her fall in love with you and do things for you that I said I’d never allow. You knew I was a “fixer”, that I gave it my all, I was invested, and I had a soft heart. You took advantage of it and made me feel guilty for your own wrong doings. You focused on my faults and overlooked your own.

I crossed my limits for you time and time again. I even blamed myself for your actions at times until it ate me alive that I’d feel so guilty that I would apologize and say it was all my fault – when it wasn’t. The reason I did this was because of my love for you, I was committed, and I wanted it to work out so badly that I overlooked every negative thing and focused solely on the good. Others would point all the times you weren’t being a partner, times where you hurt me, times you weren’t there when you should have been there. However, every time I defended you, had an excuse for you, overlooked it, and forgave. I would do anything to fix it and I would be with you until we fixed it (whenever I did the smallest thing)… this wasn’t reciprocated.

You hurt me multiple times. I forgave multiple times. You put other women above me and thought the grass was greener on the other side. You did things a man who says he is in love and committed would never do. You had not one but TWO women who loved you, who would do anything for you, and saw you as their superhero. Two people who went through so much already in their past – two women you promised never to hurt. But, I was still there – through all the things you did, I listened, I forgave, I moved on.

Yet, you still hurt me. You did things and I had to figure it out all on my own. I saw/heard things that shattered me and even then, I listened to your side and eventually forgave. You let me cross my limit time and time again. I thought it was worth it because of all the good times and to be frank – you do cross your limits sometimes for the ones you love.

We had a new start – things were going great and I was excited for our future. But, then you did it again. You lied, you handled the situation badly, and you let your family go. It was no one’s fault but yours. You had many opportunities to tell the truth. I asked for was honesty and truth – but never got it until it was too late. It took other people for you to be honest – other women. You made me a fool. When you saw me breaking and devastated you weren’t by my side. You got angry because I was mad when I had every right to be. You didn’t comfort – you focused on what you were feeling. You expected me to be calm, you expected me to forgive, and you expected me to move on quickly from it – because I did time and time again. You broke a huge promise – a promise you made while holding my daughter and I’s hand. You expected people you promised not to be mad. You couldn’t handle people were upset- people were disappointed- you couldn’t face that everything being said was the truth. Instead of owning up to your mistakes and being honest – you lied, you left your “family”, and thought about yourself. Something I guarantee you that you will regret one day. You say you tried to “fix” it – but you never did. It was at your own convenience and when you had time for us- and when I began to take the fault. You did it this way- even though you know I would have been there with you in a second and until you were healed if situations were reversed. You said you would pick me up when we fell – but you did not. You let my daughter feel deleted, you walked out when you did wrong, you let us down.

You did all the wrong and deserved the consequences and even when I was willing to fix it (when no one would) – you walked out based on your own limits. And even now, you go and do things you said you would never do. You go to people and reconnect with those you said meant nothing to you and were history- which is clearly not the case. It literally makes me sick.

Anyways, I hope you do what is right for you. But, I know one day – maybe not now, maybe in a year, maybe in 5 years. You will realize what you lost. You will miss the constant “are you okay?”, the million “what you doing?’s”, the little girl who looked at you like you were the greatest thing alive, the weird silly things, the effort that was put into everything for your special days, the home, the letters, the little things that were done for you, and the woman who always put you ahead of her and her heart. These temporary women or those you chase – won’t have the same mindset, the same heart, and do what I would have ever done – what WE would do. So, good luck.

P.S. I remember clearly you saying no one would do what you did for us – you are right. No one will do it the exact way you will . Someone will do it differently. Yes, you did amazing things, but you also did some not so amazing things. So, thank you for all the good times and what you taught me…. but I know my daughter and I - the kind of love we offer- I know that someone else will cherish that and never let go. Oh, and you know me, I love proving people wrong and you know I am a damn good girlfriend.

Always and forever,

The woman who deserved the truth and is good enough the first time around